Psalm 50:15

lessons learned and bridges burned

I will teach the unjust thy ways: and the wicked shall be converted to thee. (Psalm 50:15 DR)

In the beginning of his Exposition on this Psalm, St. Augustine contrasts the distinction in life and manners that often exists even among the baptized, positing the case of Christians who still attended the pagan games and who, when startled, would cross themselves, this performative contradiction being an evident manifestation of the incompatibility of their faith and their actions. Yet he speaks such not to condemn but to draw their hearts back to God who is rich in mercy, as will be expounded in this Psalm.

St. Augustine himself was experientially aware of this dynamic, for he had himself once been far from God and a great sinner who—though he desired the life of the mind and the delights of philosophy—was nevertheless plagued by temptations and falls into unchastity, and felt its allure even after his conversion. The section of his Confessions which begins “Too late have I love You” is of course inspiring for its depth in which he describes the beauty and sweetness of his love for God.

The internet quotations usually stop there after he speaks of burning for God’s peace, but he continues to speak of the misery of human life and how life is all a temptation. A brief quote will suffice:

Woe unto the adversities of this world, once and again, and for the third time, from the desire of prosperity; and because adversity itself is a hard thing, and makes shipwreck of endurance! Is not the life of man upon earth a temptation, and that without intermission? (St. Augustine, Confessions, Book X, Chapter 28)

He concludes in the next chapter that his entire hope is in the Lord and that he requires the charity of God to be kindled in him so that he can have continence (i.e., self control) so as to be able to fulfill God’s commands. It is, however, in the next chapter that we find out hat he really struggles with, which is memories and thoughts of his sexual deviancy in his past life which still impress themselves upon him, especially when asleep. He is surprisingly frank about his struggles and doesn’t attempt to absolve himself of responsibility, but rather speaks in such a way as to form this into a prayer that God would free and protect him from it. One is reminded of stanza two from the Hymn of Compline—Te lucis ante terminum—which says:

Procul recedant somnia, From all ill dreams defend our eyes, Et noctium phantasmata, From nightly fears and fantasies; Hostemque nostrum comprime, Tread under foot our ghostly foe, Ne polluantur corpora. That no pollution we may know.

The “pollution” in the Latin is polluantur corpora; literally “bodily pollution” which—given the aforementioned context—is exactly what it sounds like and need not be elaborated on. And even though when asleep the will cannot consent to such dreams and movements, there is is still a wound which can occur in the conscience, which is why we pray to be free and protected form it:

But whence, then, comes it to pass, that even in slumber we often resist, and, bearing our purpose in mind, and continuing most chastely in it, yield no assent to such allurements? And there is yet so much difference that, when it happens otherwise, upon awaking we return to peace of conscience; and by this same diversity do we discover that it was not we that did it, while we still feel sorry that in some way it was done in us. (St. Augustine, Confessions, Book X, Chapter 30)

St. Augustine continues in this mode of frankness to pray to be preserved from such things:

Is not Your hand able, O Almighty God, to heal all the diseases of my soul, and by Your more abundant grace to quench even the lascivious motions of my sleep? You will increase in me, O Lord, Your gifts more and more, that my soul may follow me to You, disengaged from the bird-lime of concupiscence; that it may not be in rebellion against itself, and even in dreams not simply not, through sensual images, commit those deformities of corruption, even to the pollution of the flesh, but that it may not even consent unto them. (ibid.)

It is because St. Augustine had experienced incontinence in the past and still feels the tug even after his conversion, ordination and consecration that he was able to speak so freely and honestly about these struggles and why they have so much weight. He is not speaking theoretically or abstractly but rather making theology real. It is because of the mercy he had been shown that he was able to extend such compassion and mercy towards his hearers and readers whom he knew struggled with the same things.

This fits precisely in the mode of this passage from Psalm 50, for after experiencing the joy of God’s mercy, the Psalmist now insists upon himself teaching others about this. He does not place himself in such a position because he thinks too highly of himself or is so erudite, but has rather been placed in such a position because he humbled himself in contrition and repentance, and now his entire life—including his fall from grace—can serve as a medicine for souls. David sinned grievously in many ways and even deadened his conscience against his sin; it took the prophet Nathan to wake him from his stupor. But this demonstrates that even the hardest heart is not beyond the reach of God’s mercy, and that no sin is too great to be forgiven, as St. Augustine himself experienced and brings to bear:

If David's sin is counted for ungodliness, let not ungodly men despair of themselves, forasmuch as God has spared an ungodly man; but let them take heed that to Him they be converted, that His ways they learn. But if David's deed is not counted for ungodliness, but this is properly call ungodliness, namely, to apostatize from God, not to worship one God, or never to have worshipped, or to have forsaken, Him whom one did worship, then what he says has the force of superabundance, “And ungodly men shall to You be converted.” So full are you of the fatness of mercy, that for those converted to You, not only sinners of any sort, but even ungodly, there is no cause for despair. Wherefore? “That believing on Him that justifies an ungodly man, their faith may be counted for righteousness.” [Romans 4:5]
(St. Augustine, Expositions on the Psalms, 50, 18.)

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I had found this excellent miniature of David playing a harp some time ago and decided it might be good for this animation, as part of David’s teaching of the unjust was precisely the composition of this Psalm. I cut out the figure in Photoshop and isolated the playing arm from the rest of the image and used Generative Fill (which perfromed admirably—thank you robots!) to fill in the gaps and missing pixels.

In After Effects I precomped the figure and the arm and drew a quick matte for the isolated arm so that I could have the stump of the arm be hidden behind the sleeve. I then used the Puppet Tool on that arm so I could put some slight movements on the hand. I finally animated the playing motion and made sure it looped properly. I kept the rest of body static to keep the focus on the hand movement.

Lastly I added in some text and color correction and a few other elements for compositional balance.

Enjoy.

View a higher quality version of this gif here: